How To Write A Winning Cover Letter

It’s been so long since I last wrote a cover letter that I think I almost forgot how to be professional. But after a few drafts and revisions, I think I finally got it down. Here it is if you guys want to take a look. You can use it as an example but don’t plagiarize! Let me know what you guys think.

– – – – – – –

To Whom It May Concern:

I am writing in regards to the “Associate Editor” position that I discovered on your company’s website. After reading the job synopsis, I am confident of my ability to benefit and further the growth of your company.

Upon my leave of employment with my previous company, I have been using my time to refine my own personal skill sets. For instance, I have enhanced my computer dexterity by surfing the Internet and refreshing my browser every minute in search of the latest possible news that might have little to no relevance to my life at all. This definitely includes websites such as ESPN, Facebook, and Yahoo! news. In addition, I have sharpened my communicative proficiency through my heavy usage of emails and AIM (which have also allowed me to rekindle and strengthen friendships along the way). I believe now I can type up to 200 WPM. Not to mention, my physical prowess is paralleled by none, considering how I am able to sleep 8 hours every night and allot another 1 or 2 for mid-afternoon naps. All these factors, I believe, will contribute greatly to your company in terms of work ethic.

Although I might be currently unemployed, single, and broke without a stable source of income, I am adamant that your company would benefit greatly from what I have to offer. Besides my stallion’s wit, ridiculously superb good looks and magnetic charm, I have the uncanny ability to watch movies and read books at the same time. I can verify this since I’ve done it almost everyday. I am not too certain there are many others who possess such aptitude.

If you would like to convene or welcome any further discussion, please email or IM me, as I am heavily wanted. You should know my screen name (not Mushypimpx, that was so junior high, but the Yancancook37 one). I have also attached a copy of my resume—in case you forgot how brilliant I really am—for review at your convenience. Once again, I thank you for your time and consideration.

Affectionately Yours (or XoXo),

Senor Martino Yan


7 responses to “How To Write A Winning Cover Letter

  1. hahahah! this was great! i’d hire you! it’s definitely a refreshing and honest cover letter, something i think will definitely stand out 🙂

    • Thanks Shaina…I’m glad there’s at least one sensible person out there in the world. Haha! (Dot dot dot…)

  2. I’m taking this Verbatim (with your approval to post it without citation, of course)! Thank you for not giving us all an inferiority complex by REALLY letting loose your aptitudes, our letters would slip to the back of the stack! For realz tho, honesty mixed with your well-paced writing shines brighter than the rest. Godspeed employer eyes!

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