Note: Just wanted to give a special shout-out to my faithful readers who’ve been tracking my every post thus far. I’ve heard nothing but positive feedback from you, and it’s people like you that challenge me to keep my posts entertaining, interesting, and meaningful. And that’s why my next post will be about Paris Hilton. Just kidding.
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For those of you who haven’t been in the loop, I’ve been working at a new job for about three weeks now. It’s really not major news, but since some of you have been wondering, I decided to just post about it so I might answer some of your questions once and for all. No, I’m no longer at Kaplan, folks (that was way back in June), and my new job does not involve Hollywood or the movie industry (we’re still working on that). It does, however, involve TEETH.
Check out my stuntastic grillz!
Oh yes! Those supposed pearly whites, which turn out to not be as pearly as you’d think. I look at pictures like the ones to your left all day long. Not just pictures, but videos, magazines, advertisements, and anything else that is capable of reproducing pixelated images of 32 white (or in most cases, un-white) teeth.
I work for a company that creates, researches, ships, and sells products/resources regarding teeth. They also work directly with dentists–actually, this is how we generate most of our income flows–who fix their patients’ teeth by coming to us for some help. We have dental technicians working in the lab, people coming and going throughout all 24 hours of the day: fixing crowns, building bridges, creating new veneers–pretty much everything to restore a smile to a person’s face.
Apparently, not only do I work for a dental company–I work for the biggest dental company/laboratory in the nation, perhaps in the world. I didn’t discover this tidbit until I went in for the orientation on the first day. The company has over 2,400 employees and they own about four or five buildings in Irvine/Newport Beach alone. We have our very own built-in cafeteria on the second floor, replete with pool and foosball tables, a mini Internet cafe, and big screen TVs that hang off every wall playing ESPN all throughout the day. And our demographics is unheard of: 70% of our employment is non-white, meaning we got people from all over the world (literally) in this place. I mean, I go to lunch and I see people like my mom and probably yours all over the floor. It’s like Korea, China, Vietnam, India, and Mexico all rolled into one. We were recently recognized with an award for helping employ foreigners or something like that. If the building wasn’t as nice as it was, you could have mistaken the place for a deportation center.
You don't want me near your teeth.
Now, my actual position doesn’t require me to make dentures or anything like that. They just hired me–the non-bio/dental major, Asian guy–to write and edit all their magazines, ads, press releases, and catalogs regarding new tooth techniques and products. Now, how does that figure? Simple. They just plug me on these hour long DVDs featuring our in-house dentist, “Dr. D,” who performs all the different surgeries and procedures that one could possibly think of. In a span of three weeks, I think I’ve learned more about teeth than all you readers combined in your entire lifetimes. (And just think, dental students actually pay $100,000 for their education while I get paid to be educated.)
So, I sit at my desk with the newest and biggest 24” iMac desktop that they hooked me up with, and watch videos and read articles on it most of the day. My desk belongs in a corner of the Customer Service department, next to the oft-frequented fax machine and printer, behind the cubicles of four 30+ year-old women. I belong to the Marketing/Advertising department, but they don’t have enough room for me in their studio. But it’s okay: the studio’s dark and gloomy like a bat cave. I actually like it down there in CS. I feel like I’m in “The Office,” with all the people and their random funny jokes, stories, and incidents.
But sometimes I think I hear too much. The four women who sit behind me talk about things that no single, unmarried man should hear. They initiated me the first day when they talked–no holds barred–about their boyfriends and “relational needs.” At least, they keep things interesting. One of them looks like a bigger-eyed Janet Jackson, and another, Razi, who occupies the cube directly behind me, reminds me of a Middle-eastern Penelope Cruz. But Razi’s not like the rest. I like Razi a lot.
My first day there was definitely an eye-opener. (Everybody could tell I was the new guy because I wore a blue dress shirt instead of white; everybody there wears white.) And all the days thereafter have been just as sweet. The people there are very friendly; my co-copywriter Melissa is super chill; cafeteria food is bomb diggity; and overall, the company is just a place many people would love to be working at.
So, there you have it. That’s what a “Copywriter” does. Exciting stuff, I know. No, but seriously, I like this place a lot. It’s hard to find a job in this current economic crunch, let alone with a company like this (we grew 5% this year and hired a whopping 100 new employees). Who knows? If you need a j-o-b, maybe I can hook you up!
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I got a special invitation to our company’s formal Christmas party and it had a “plus one.” It’s going to be in a new building we just recently purchased in Irvine. I figured I’d ask a girl who was in the area if she wanted to go. You know, enjoy the free food and good company. She said she had a boyfriend. I said, “So, you gonna go or what?” lol j/k. But I don’t want to waste the “plus one.” So, my single lady friends, where you at?!